It's gonna be a long Winter

Well, here we are, right smack dab in the middle of weight gain season.  

Actually, the "weight gain season" officially starts with all that Halloween candy that gets casually grazed upon during that one night of the year that we teach our children that it’s ok to dress up and go pan-handling.  

With that in mind, I’d like to make an observation on Halloween.  Have you ever noticed that the later it gets, the older the kids get and the more the costumes look like regular street clothes? 

I’ve noticed and it ticks me off…  

I usually save my Sonic Burger Peppermints for the street clothes people.  I have a friend who saves all his old Whataburger ketchup packages to give to them.  I’ve thought about that myself, but I’m afraid I’ll end up with smushed Whataburger ketchup packages all over my front porch.   Anyway, I digress…

The leftover Halloween candy (if there is any) slowly undermines any hope of weight loss for the first few weeks of November, then there’s Thanksgiving and the endless grazing from Thursday through the weekend, with all the leftover Thanksgiving feast, not to mention all the football food.

Do I even need to mention December?...

It’s not just the Christmas Dinner that gets us (as with Thanksgiving), but for one solid month, there’s an endless parade of Christmas goodies like cookies, sweets, cheeses, sausage balls and all kinds of little Christmas snacks that are at the office or are delivered to your home or are just under your nose wherever you go. 

Let’s face it…   For such a wonderfully spiritual time of the year, it’s just one long temptation after another…   Praise the Lord and have a Chocolate Bourbon Ball!...

After Christmas, there’s still tons of food left to get through the New Year’s celebration, then we have the College Bowl Games…  Everybody knows you can’t watch College Bowl Games without at least 2 gallons of Rotel Cheese Dip (with sausage or hamburger included) and a number of varieties of Chips.

After all the Bowl Games, you would think we would have had enough football, but no… 

By early January, we’re fully into the NFL Playoffs, so more football watching parties and more Rotel Cheese Dip and chips, not to mention, Spicy Chicken Wings and Chili.  (If you’re lucky, you know someone like me who has a killer Chili recipe).  I have found that a good spicy Chili is a welcomed addition to any party where there’s Rotel Cheese Dip just to act as a stool softener after all that cheese.

NFL Playoffs go right up to the first weekend in February, culminating with Super Bowl Sunday…

What a Schmorgesbord Super Bowl Sunday is…

I once read that there are more avocados bought for Super Bowl Sunday than any other day of the year…   That’s a lot of Guacamole!...

Finally, we move from a cheesy, salty snack induced euphoria that is about 5 weeks of straight football food, to Valentine’s Day.  That one holiday of the year, manufactured by women, for women, that most men don’t particularly care for because we’re still trying to make a dent in the credit card (from Christmas) and all of a sudden, here’s another National Holiday that says we have to go out and buy something else. 

Fortunately for me, my wife is happy with a card, a box of chocolates (that I usually eat half of) and a fine dinner.  And there you go, one last fling with excessive caloric intake, and then we get a break before all the Easter Candy, Fried Chicken and Deviled Eggs. 

And if you’ve read this blog, you know how I feel about deviled eggs…

Copyright © 2011 Denning Key

Vegas Baby!

Well, Las Vegas proved to be quite a stumbling block in my weight loss journey.  Although our room was about 150 yards (that’s one and a half times the length of a football field) from the elevators, and I managed to make several trips a day back and forth from the Casino or the Pool back up to the room, my extensive walking up and back down the Bellagio hallways proved to be no match for the awesome food that exists in Vegas.

I’ll admit, when it came down to my vacation in Vegas and any attempt, what so ever, of exercising any semblance of self-discipline (as far as dieting was concerned), I was off the wagon. 

And when I say “off the wagon” I mean “Seriously ‘Off’ the Wagon”!

I did the Vegas Buffett Breakfast almost every day (with seconds), I snacked on high carb snacks, I drank high calorie Fruity Drinks by the pool, I had burgers and french-fries for lunch, and ate at 5 Star Executive Chef Restaurants for dinner and even ate the dinner rolls with the whipped butter.

Needless to say, I gained about 12 lbs in 7 days…  

I think it would be a gross exaggeration to say that I had a few moments of weakness.  In simple terms, I was down-right self-destructive and I loved every minute of it.

Yesterday was Day One (back home) and back on the diet.  This morning I was down 3 lbs from yesterday morning.  If this keeps up, I should be back to normal by Thursday. 

Keep your fingers crossed.

But what happened in Vegas isn’t really the purpose of my blog today.  I would like to address the thieves that work Security at the Airport in Las Vegas.  I’ll continue…

Our returning flight was scheduled to leave Vegas at 11:55 Am (PST).  We were up early, got packed and had breakfast in the room.  We arrived at the Las Vegas Airport with plenty of time to spare, spent a considerable amount of time waiting to check our bags (due, mainly in fact that no one behind the counter was in a hurry), then proceeded to the TSA/Homeland Security, ie: Airport Security Screening.

We took off our shoes, emptied our pockets and removed jewelry. Stepped through the detector machines (without incident) and proceeded to the totes to replace all our belongings.  No problem…

No problem, that is, until one of the Security ladies spotted, specifically, my wife’s Chanel No. 5, along with a few other dubious items of interest.  I never realized that Chanel No. 5 was such a threat to air travel, but apparently, it is.

My wife was carrying a big bag that she could keep more than just her purse.  Let’s face it, when traveling, it’s a good idea to carry emergency items, such as Aspirin or Imodium, just in case any airport or airline food disagrees with you.  These are items that you don’t want to be packed in your bags in the cargo bay of the plane at the time you decide they are needed. 

Common sense, right?  Apparently not, if you’re with the Las Vegas Security. 

They went through my wife’s travel bag, one item at a time. 

First, they questioned her about her very nice gold cigarette lighter.  I was carrying a cheap Bic lighter which was not a problem, but the Gold Lighter from the MGM Grand raised questions. 

Then they wanted to know what the Imodium was for.  My wife said “Do you really want to go there?”.

I was tempted to remark that we were going to spike the pilot’s coffee in an effort to force the plane down due to pilot constipation, but I quickly realized that these people weren’t playing with full deck’s (so to speak) and any attempt to interject humor into the situation could be a problem.  I kept my remarks to myself.

Then they asked why the Chanel No 5 was still in it’s box.  We explained that it was new and was safer (from breakage) while still in the box.  We were told, “No Boxes” and that it had to be in a Ziplock bag.  But (and here’s where they tipped their hand), we could leave the Chanel No. 5 with them and they would let us go.

Okay…  So we’ll put it in a Ziploc bag.  Only problem was that they didn’t have any available in the Las Vegas Security Area.

They had to send my fat ass racing back out of the secure area (with all items I had just carried through Security, computers and all) through the airport, to a shop across the terminal, and back through Security. 

For some reason, leaving all that stuff with my wife, who remained in the secure area, was unacceptable and not an option.

So I returned, Chanel No. 5, safely ensconced in a Ziploc bag. 

By this time it was about 11:35 AM.  They asked what time was our flight and we explained that it was at 11:55 AM and we were really cutting things close.

At this point, they decided to send my wife (who had already passed through Security Screening) for a “Pat Down”. 

We were finally released to head to our plane at about 11:56 AM…  

Guess what!   We missed our flight… 

The next flight was at 7:25 PM…   Seven and a half hours later and I was madder than a wet hen!

Hours later I was self-soothing in one of the many bars in the Las Vegas Airport.  I shared our experience with the bar tender and he said, and I quote, “They pull that crap all the time.  If they see something they want, they make it hard to make your flight, unless you leave it with them”.

He also explained that most other Airport Security Areas have Ziploc bags available in the event that something needs to be placed in there.  But not in Vegas.  They love to send people racing across the airport to find one.

Here’s what I thought was really stupid about the whole thing.  Once the Chanel No. 5 was placed in the Ziploc bag (along with the Imodium and some tiny sample bottles of Tabasco Sauce, which everyone knows that Tobasco Sauce is a threat to airline safety) they let us put it back in the bag that my wife was carrying. 

So what’s the point?  We could just as easily take it all back out, once on the plane.

Well, we know the point.  Give them what they want or you miss your flight.

As we were going through Security, for our later flight, there was a young man who was stopped and being questioned about something he was carrying.  I said "Good Luck making your flight if you don't have any Ziploc bags with you".

I think the next time I go to Vegas, I’m going to take a huge box of Ziploc bags and give them away right outside of the Security Area for free.

That’ll show ‘em…

Copyright © 2011 Denning Key

I don't do the Ghetto Look!

This week, I have achieved another millstone…   I’m (unofficially) down 35 Lb’s since I began my weight loss journey.  This is good timing for me because my wife and I are heading to Vegas soon to celebrate our anniversary and her birthday (which both happen to occur within 24 hours of each other).

I figured this was a good time to invest in some slightly smaller and better fitting clothes.  Also, I didn’t want to look like a slob when we go to Vegas.  It’s just too hard to look like a High Roller when you’re wearing a T-Shirt that says “What happens in Salado, Stays in Salado”. So I went shopping for a few new Button-Down Shirts and some new Cargo Shorts.

Here’s the problem.   Clothing Merchandisers are perpetually stuck in the MTV mindset.   Let me explain.

You know how stupid and idiotic guys look with their pants hanging halfway down their butts?  And there’s also the moronic look of the pants (or shorts, take your pick) that hang to about mid shin.

Well, I went to three different major stores today and could find nothing tasteful that a middle aged, middle class white man would be seen in.  I’m not kidding.  Everything is that stupid Ghetto Look…  

The lady in one of the stores told me “Kids think it’s stylish”…  

And as politely as possible, I said “You’ve got to be out of your mind!  Look at me!  I want something that fit’s my waistline and doesn’t touch my knees and is meant to be starched and ironed.”

She told me I was showing my age.  I told her people my age preferred to wear clothes that didn’t make us look like morons.

I did find some really nice button down shirts for $12.50 each…   What a deal!  Sure, they were probably made in a sweat shop in Indonesia, but times are tough and I was able to get 5 sweat shop shirts for the price of one button down Ralph Lauren shirt. 


As for the cargo shorts, I guess I’ll have to search eBay.

I’ll keep you posted…   Adios!

Copyright © 2011 Denning Key

Praise the Lord and Pass the Ammunition!

Finally!....   Finally I have broken that elusive glass ceiling of the 30 Lbs I’ve been trying to surpass in my weight loss journey. 

This morning, after our devotional and walking my mile, with the rest of the POPs (Praying Off Pounds) guys, I weighed in this morning with a 33 Lb. weight loss…   Hallelujah!

It’s really been frustrating.  This is week five of hovering around the 25 to 30 Lb. mark since I started this back in February.  It was originally so easy.  I skipped bread, cheese, potatoes and fried stuff and in return, I’ve lost about 3 Lbs. per week.  Not so during April and into the first week in May. 

This particular target weight that I’ve been shooting for has been a long time coming.  I’ve always said that when I reached it, I would reward myself with something really tasty and bad for me, like a plate of cheese enchiladas with a fried egg, over-easy, on top…

I like to refer to it as “A Heart Attack on a Plate”.  I’m talking about a platter of about 1500 calories of pure Cheesy Tex-Mex Decadence, with Salsa poured liberally across the top of it…   Dare I say; It’s better than sex!...  

Well, maybe not, but it’s up there…

Now that I’ve reached this millstone, I’ve made a profound decision…   I’m putting off my "enchilada fix" for a later date. I’m setting a new target weight for the platter of enchiladas and I’m going to be good heading into the weekend. 

This could be a pretty weekend, weather-wise, and it’s time to break out the boat for the weekend.  I’ll have to opt for rewarding myself with cold beer (instead of the plate of cheese enchiladas with the proverbial fried egg on top).  Cold beer is just easier to handle on the boat, than Mexican Food.

Plus, I’m taking my lovely bride, of 10 years, to Vegas for our Anniversary and her birthday.  Not sure how bad the diet will suffer there, but you can rest assured that I won’t be walking into Emeril's in Las Vegas and ordering a scoop of Tuna with a Dinner Salad. 

Nope…   Won’t really be counting calories in Vegas, but I will still try to avoid the bread and potatoes.

Vegas is still about 4 weeks off, so I’m hoping to drop another 10 Lbs. by then. 

I’ll be helping to plant some 275 Lamonto grape vines for a friend who has a vineyard (The Grand Magnolia Vineyards, in Flint, Texas) in the coming days, so that should be good for some exercise and maybe a few extra Lbs. 

I’ll keep you posted…   Adios!...

Copyright © 2011 Denning Key

"Convenience" can be a four letter word...

Ok…   I know it’s been almost three weeks since the last blog, but I’ve been busy.  Also, there’s been very little to write about since my weight has stayed the same for four weeks in a row now.

The last time I went to the clinic for weigh-in was two weeks ago and my weight was EXACTLY the same as it had been at the previous weigh-in two weeks before. 

I’ll admit, there was that little fishing trip with 5 of my buddies, down to Rockport, Texas for some Bay Fishing.  And let’s face it, you can’t really eat a scoop of tuna or chicken salad plopped in the middle of some fresh romaine lettuce while fishing.  It just isn't convenient.

My original intentions were noble…   In the interest of "convenience" I decided to take stuff like smoked almonds, lightly salted peanuts, pickle spears and celery sticks to eat on the boat…

A funny thing happened at the grocery store.

As I was stocking up on my supplies, there were six-packs of cans of Vienna Sausages.  Now I’m not a real huge fan of Vienna Sausages, but there’s something inherently esoteric about fishing and Vienna Sausages. 

Just the thought of it takes me back to my childhood and fishing with my grandfather and those special childhood memories of learning to get the first “Vinnie” out of a can of Vienna Sausages without tearing it up or destroying the rest of the “Vinnies” in the can.  It’s like one of those “hunter/gatherer” traditions that is passed from father to son, or in my case, grandfather to grandson. 

I’m not talking about standing in the kitchen and digging the first “Vinnie” out with a fork.  I’m not even talking about using a tooth pick, although many fishermen will tell you it's ok to use a toothpick.  I’m talking about that secret technique of getting that first “Vinnie” out with no accoutrements of cutlery, or picnicware… It's such a special moment when you see someone get that first "Vinnie" successfully out of the can and you just know that all is "right" with the world.  

If you’re a true “God Fearin’, Redneck, Son of the South” you know what I’m talking about.   Otherwise, you’ll have to go fishing with me to learn how.

Needless to say, I bought a six-pack of Vienna Sausages for the trip.  We ate 2 cans on the way down.  The others were polished off on the boat.

Dinner wasn’t much healthier, although I managed to stay away from bread and french fries.  I think it was the two dozen Cajun Grilled Shrimp on Friday Night and the multiple pounds of Boiled Shrimp & Crawfish that caused me not to go near the bathroom scales until about day 4 after getting home from the fishing trip.  Just the sodium alone was enough to make me retain about 10 gallons of water weight.

To make a long story short, I opted to skip my weigh-in last week so I could concentrate on getting to a reasonable goal by this coming Friday.  Hopefully, by then, I’ll have dropped the 3 to 5 lbs. since the last weigh-in and just in time for the proverbial butt stabbing with the B12& B6 Combo Shot.  

I just hope I don't get lectured to about not following the plan.  I’ll be sure to report how that goes.  

Adios for now…

The Road to Religious Enlightenment is paved with Deviled Eggs

I have made an observation about Deviled Eggs, but first, I need to explain the reason why Deviled Eggs got their name and what “deviling” actually is. 

About two hundred, or more, years ago, in England, there was a process of grinding up meat with hot spices.  Because of the “hot “ nature of the finished product, it was called deviling.  I think that over the years, just making the product very rich, in taste and texture, has taken on the term “deviling” or “deviled”.  It doesn't really mean that anyone who eats them is destined for eternal damnation, although, they are "sinfully good".

Now, on to my observation. 

I’ve noticed that one of the top foods provided during religious or spiritual events, such as, to a grieving family after the death of a loved one, is Deviled Eggs.  I can personally attest to this, as we received about 20 or 30 dozen Deviled Eggs at my Mom’s home, when my Dad passed away almost 30 years ago.  We didn’t hit the Deviled Egg Payday as well when My Mom passed way 5 years ago, but still, there were a few that made it to the house.

Other family gatherings often have Deviled Eggs, such as Christmas, family reunions and of course, Easter.

The guys at Pfizer (makers of Lipitor) must love Easter due to all the bazillions of Eggs consumed.  I know from personal experience that we go through about 18 to 36 Hard Boiled and Colored Eggs for Easter.  I like to refer to it as “The Annual, Egg Coloring and Abuse Night at the Key’s House”.  

It’s true, our kids are, respectively, 17, 21 and a few weeks away from 23, and they have enjoyed coloring Easter Eggs since they were old enough to color Easter Eggs.  Given that the Eggs are still intact a day or two later, they are turned into hideously ugly (due to the fact that the egg dye bleeds through the shell) Deviled Eggs.

And boy are they good…

Major Strike to my weight loss journey, considering each serving of Deviled Egg is about 85 Calories.  Eat about a dozen of those and start counting!...  

It’s a virtual smorgasbord of  cholesterol laden calories.  

Next week’s “weigh day” is looking pretty bleak right now, but I’ll try to remain strong.

Happy Easter Everybody…

Holy Schmoly, I'm on a Roll!

Well, by now, anyone, who bothers to follow my weight loss journey, through this blog, knows that most Fridays (with the exception of the occasional Thursday), is “weigh day” because Friday is the official day that I report to the weight loss clinic to get weighed, have my blood pressure checked, then bend over for the ritual stabbing of the B6/B12 combo shot with the 2 inch needle in my butt.  (Again I say "White Coat Syndrome is Real!).

Last week, I was up 2 lbs., however, I think, due to the previous few weeks of funeral food and eating on the go (not to mention the BBQ Rib Platter on Thursday night), my weight was up a couple of lbs.  Probably water retention...

I knew that today would be a good “weigh day” because I’ve been helping a friend set a bunch of large poles in 40 lb bags of concrete, for his vineyard.  Not really hard work, but more physical labor than I’ve done in a long while.  So, this morning, like most every Friday morning, in spite of my "Jabba the Hutt” appearing nekkidness, I was extremely happy to step on the scales and see that I was within 1 lb. of having lost 30 lbs since the 1st of February.

I haven’t been at this weight in over 5 years!...   Yippie!...

On the other hand, I really can't see it, except where there’s saggy skin where fat used to be.  For example, my stomach…   Well, it’s not that bad, just sayin’….

Sad news is that I still have about 50 lbs. to go.  Can you believe I’ve let myself gain so much weight, in the name of quitting smoking and achieving good cardiovascular health.

If all goes as planned, I’ll be making an appointment, with a plastic surgeon, just before my high school reunion, just so I can do something about the flabby skin (along with my man-boobs), which are serious need of reduction.

Still have another milestone to go before I can reward myself with cheese enchiladas (with a fried egg, over easy, on top).  Hopefully, next Friday will be "enchilada payday"...

I'll let you know how that goes...   Until then, Adios…

The only "running" I'm going to do is "running late"...

This is getting frustrating…   My body has now decided to "settle in" at the weight that it occupied for several years…   And I ain’t happy about it!

I know it’s been a rough few weeks for the diet, but I’ve really been good since Monday. 

Ok...  I know it’s only Wednesday, but I feel like I’ve been here for about 2 or 3 weeks.  I need a little push to get back on the 3 lbs. a week momentum that I have been on until now.

Dare I say it?  It’s probably time that I invest in the dreaded “E” word…   Exercise…  

Last winter, a friend of mine said that he felt like I should go "running" with him...   I told him (in the words of my mother) to go take a nap and the feeling would go away.

This has been so much fun, losing weight without working out.  In fact, that’s the whole reason that a competitive guy like me loves competing in chili cook-offs so much.  It’s the thrill of highly intense competition without the inconvenience of physical exertion.

I’ve always said “Fat boys don’t like to sweat”, however, it may be about time that I drag my fat butt back into the gym and do just that…   Sweat!...   Maybe that’ll get my weight loss momentum jump-started again.

Oh well…   Weigh-day is Friday, so I have a little time to, hopefully, drop a few more lbs. before I do something drastic. 

Via con Dios mi amigo...

I’m afraid I’ve hit the dreaded “Wall” or plateau in my weight loss journey.  In fact, I’ve bounced around between a 2 lb. fluctuation (back & forth) for the past week, but I think I have a valid excuse.  Last Monday, we got some heart breaking news, that my wife’s precious father (who was also one of my dearest friends) had suddenly passed away. 

Therefore, before I go further excusing myself for the current state of my fatness, I’d like to say that I will very much miss Lt Col Roger Lee Feaster, USAF (Ret).  He was a wonderful Husband, Father, Grandfather and Friend, a staunch Patriot, and a faithful & tireless servant of Christ.  

In short, he was the epitome of integrity.  I think I can truly say that he is one of the few people that I’ve known in my half century of life, that I wish my life could emulate. 

So, Wednesday began a week of eating airport food on the go, and 5 days of funeral food. 

Funeral Food deserves to be it’s own food group in and of itself.  It is almost always homemade as well as made with a great amount of love.  It is eaten standing up and is impossible to measure any volume of calories on each plate.  I will admit that, to my dismay, I didn’t see a single deviled egg the entire week.  In my case, that was probably a good thing.  I’m a deviled egg junkie…

But, needless to say, I sampled almost everything else and fell off the diet wagon.

Today is a new day, and hopefully, will have some progress to show when I go in for Weigh Day on Friday.

Of course my blood pressure is elevated. I'm over weight, damnit!

Nineteen weeks left until my high school reunion and I should just get in under 200 lbs if I keep it up.  Only problem is listening to nurses at the weight loss clinic lecture me about high blood pressure. 

This morning I had a different nurse than usual.  I hate it when they change up on me.  I liked my old nurse.  I explained to her, the very first day, that I had “White Coat Syndrome” and that my blood pressure was a little elevated because I knew she was going to stick me in the butt with a two inch needle, so it would be best to check it again at the end of the weigh in, and subsequent needle sticking.  She did, and sure enough, it had gone back down to about 125 over 75. 

Is this so hard to understand?

So, this morning, at my weekly weigh in, a newer, very young nurse weighed me in, congratulated me on my weight loss, then took my blood pressure.  It was 130 over 90.  Not bad, but a little elevated (we know why).  Then she went and got another nurse to come ask me a bunch of questions and lecturing me about my blood pressure and medications and stuff like that.

Once again, I explained that, in addition to being over weight (which is a leading cause of high blood pressure), I have “White Coat Syndrome” and until they get through giving me my shot, my blood pressure will be a little elevated.  She told me I was making excuses…   I told her she wasn’t a very good listener. 

To make matters worse, she started lecturing me about drinking and that it would sabotage my weight loss.  What part of the 20 lbs that I’ve lost since mid-January has been sabotaged?  You want to see my blood pressure go up, make me continue this stupid diet without any alcohol…   That’ll do it for sure!

God Bless The Rose City Chili Cook-Off

Today marks the end of week five and I’m happy to report that as of Friday morning, I had lost 17 lbs. I didn’t bother weighing this morning because this past weekend was my beloved Rose City Chili Cook-Off (RCCO).  I told my weight counselor on Friday that all bets were off for the weekend, due to the cook-off.  She was sympathetic (I think).

A little history here…   This cook-off was originally set up as an annual event in 1981, but we missed a year shortly after the New Millennium, so instead of the 31^st Annual Rose City Chili Cook-Off, it was the 30^th Ever Rose City Chili Cook-Off.

I have been involved with this event since 1984, when my boss sent me out to take pictures of our company team. The following Year, I was Campaign Chairman for the hosting charity so I was involved again.  By 1986, my brother and two other friends decided to try our hand at cooking chili.  Again in 1991, I decided to, again, shoot for the coveted People’s Choice Chili Award, so I dragged my brother-in-law and one of my employees out to the RCCO.  It was not to be.

For the sake of clarity, I think it’s important to define the 2 kinds of chili judging that goes on at a chili cook-off.  There’s People’s Choice Chili, which really doesn’t have any rules and is served to the public and voted upon and the largest team usually wins, because they have, at least as many votes, going in, as they do team members, so there you go.  Then there’s Competition Chili, which is turned in in a Styrofoam Judging Cup, has a concealed ticked taped to the side, and is judged by a panel of Judges in a blind judging format.  At the end of the day, the winning cup has the ticket peeled off and announced.  The cook with the matching ticket wins…

By 1992, my Competition Chili was placing with some frequency and I soon became hooked and was a regular on the Chili Appreciation Society International (CASI) circuit.    

In 1994 and 1995, I was the Great Pepper of the Rose City Chili Pod and again from 1999 until 2003.  Needless to say, I was ready to put the responsibilities of chili cook-offs behind me and get back to being a regular old chili cook after that.

So why did I just share this plethora of information with you?  Well, because it is important to understand why I absolutely have to cook at it every year. 

In a nutshell, you reunite with old friends and get to drink a lot of beer and experience, what I like to call “the thrill of highly intense competition, without the inconvenience of physical exertion”.  There you have it!

Well beer isn’t on the list of drinks I can have (due to the carbs) but it’s a well-known fact that a chili cook has to drink beer 30 minutes before Chili Turn-In, because the cook needs to be able to taste the chili the same way that the Chili Judges are tasting it. 

Let’s face it, most of the time, Chili Judges are cleansing their pallets with beer, so needless to say, a good chili cook can’t make adjustments to his or her chili without, also, drinking beer.

Of course, who drinks just one beer? 

Originally, I had good intentions for lunch.  I packed a lunch tote with 250 calories of tuna salad.  Well….   I kind of got busy and the tuna salad probably got too warm to eat…  Then I discovered the food vendor, so I had a foot long ½ lb hotdog with lots of mustard.  And, yes, it was awesome!

I know, I was weak…

Good news was that, on Saturday, I won 7th Place out of 43 or 44 chilis.  Didn't do so well on Sunday...  

Oh, did I mention that there were 2 cook-offs over the weekend?  So, about 18 beers and a lot of beef & pork fat later (over the course of 2 days) I think I blew the diet.

When I woke up and went in the bathroom this morning, I took the side of my foot and gently slid my bathroom scales against the wall, under my towel rack, where it will be left undisturbed for several days, until I’m back on track. 

So there you have it, my weekend of weakness…   (Although I did get home with a trophy)...

Hopefully the next blog will provide some good news…

Just when you think you're on a roll...

When I decided to take up “blogging”, I figured it would be an easy thing to do, since all you really need is a little time and an opinion…   I didn’t realize that life’s little distractions, like planning my high school reunion and running to the liquor store because my in-laws are coming in town tomorrow and other errands would get in the way.

Needless to say, I have valid excuses for having not “blogged” in two weeks.  However, for those of you keeping up, the diet is going pretty good.  I’m still averaging about 3 lbs. a week. 

Having lost almost 15 lbs. since February 1^st, I decided to reward myself with a couple of chili cheese burritos from Taco Bell on Saturday, and although I was good and ate fish & broccoli for dinner, the burritos turned out to be a big mistake.  This morning, I was back up 1 lb. from Saturday morning… 

One of the many great things about our Heavenly Father, is that, every now and then, he does subtle little things to get our attention (just to let us know he’s watching), in my case, it was a chili cheese burrito “bitch slap” that put a whole pound of hard earned weight loss, back on my fat butt.  Fortunately, I am more motivated than discouraged…

So…  This morning, I was back on my 60 calories of Egg Beaters (with a couple of teaspoons of picante sauce mixed in), a cup of coffee with artificial sweetener and a handful of vitamins and other meds (that my doctor decided I needed, upon reaching middle age).  Lunch was about 250 calories of tuna fish salad, and for dinner, grilled skinless, boneless chicken breast covered in Louisiana Hot Sauce with some veggies and my usual ration of cocktails…

I’m not absolutely confident, but I’m pretty sure that TV sucks tonight, so it could be early to bed, a good night’s sleep and hopefully, the bathroom scales will be nicer to me in the morning…

It's all down hill from here

Today marks the end of my second week of the 172 day journey of weight loss and my 35 year High School Reunion. That leaves 158 days and if my calculations are right, I should lose about 50 to 75 lbs. by the time the reunion rolls around.  That is, if I can hurdle the stumbling blocks along the way (and with the pounds I need to lose, the word “hurdle” is not in the vocabulary).

Let’s recap…  Halloween, Thanksgiving, 30 days of Christmas Goodies then Christmas, New Year’s College Bowl Games, NFL Play-Offs and the Super Bowl.  No doubt, the past two weeks have been a struggle and I have about 8 hours to go.

One minor detail that I left out of my original equation was my birthday and Valentine’s Day, which falls the week after the Super Bowl. Yep, today is Valentine’s Day and yesterday was my 53^rd birthday (which doesn’t really reflect my philosophical age because my precious daughter says I have the maturity of a 13 to 15 year old boy).

So, toward the end of last week, the doorbell rings and it’s a frozen cheese cake from my very dear friends who live in Billings, Montana.  Then there’s all the chocolate that’s going to be lingering around our house for the next day or two. 

Fortunately for me, sweets aren’t my “Kryptonite”.  That would be chips and salsa, pizza or a double meat double cheese burger with everything on it.…   Even old friends who have known me for 35 years know that.  And just to make that point, I had a double meat double cheese burger for my birthday yesterday.  But that was my only real vice yesterday and tonight is a nice valentine dinner with friends at a fancy Mediterranean Restaurant.  

I’m not sure how I’ll side step the temptations of this evening because, even if I order something healthy, like fish, it’ll be covered in about 10,000 calories of some awesomely creamy sauce. I’ll figure something out.

Tomorrow, however, is a new day (and the beginning of week 3), and hopefully 158 days of limited temptation. Hopefully, it'll be all down hill.

Bathroom Scales vs Coffee

I think that most everyone can agree that one of the most frustrating things about dieting under a Doctor's care is the inconsistency of Bathroom Scales and Doctor's Scales.  Know what I mean?

I weighed myself at home the morning before I first went to the weight loss clinic and then was weighed again upon arrival there.  Both displays read within about a pound of each other.  This was a good thing because it means that I can have a real sense of confidence on my “weigh days” at the clinic.

Today’s “weigh day” was not to be a confident  day. 

The news was still good, but not as good as it was as I stood naked (which is never a good thing) looking down at my bathroom scales about 20 minutes after I woke up.  According to my bathroom scales, I’ve lost 9 Lbs in the past 10 days…  I was ecstatic…   That is, until I got on the clinic scales a couple of hours later and they only had me at a 2 ½ lb loss…. 

Hmmmm…   Something seems amiss!

I’ll have to admit that the scales that the nurse at the clinic weighed me on were different than the scales that they were weighed me on day one…   Still, that’s a 6 lb difference and I know my clothes don’t weigh 6 lbs.

Six pounds is 96 oz and that’s a little less than the amount of water they have me drinking each day.  I think I’d notice if my clothes weighed that much.  Maybe I drank that much coffee, but I doubt it. You would think I’d be bouncing off the ceiling if I had drank 96 oz of coffee in one morning.  Even by the standards of my big coffee mug, that’s one entire 12 cup pot of coffee… 

Ok, maybe I did drink about 6 cups (more like 12 oz to 14 oz mugs) which would have been around 70 or 80 oz of coffee and that’s 5 lbs.

Now that I think of it…   Never mind…

Week Two - I think I’m beginning to get the hang of this…

Week One and Super Bowl Weekend out of the way and I’m down 2 Lbs.  There’s a shocker.  I think I’m beginning to get the hang of this…

I will admit that, in order to survive the weekend, I stretched the 3 days of meat and eggs only to 5 days. 

Now, I’m on my 2^nd day of Week Two, the week that I actually have to develop some healthy eating habits.  I think that as long as I measure out my Chicken & Tuna Salads for each day and limit my calories to about 200 to 250 calories, then I’m off to the races.

So, here’s the easy part so far. For Breakfast, ½ cup of Egg Beaters (60 calories) with a tsp of Pica de Gallo or Pace’s Picante Sauce scrambled in and microwaved with no butter or margarine.  Then for Lunch I have either Chicken or Tuna Salad.

With Coffee and Creamer I’m easily under 300 calories, and a couple of rolled up slices of Turkey for a midafternoon snack brings me up to around 300 to 350 calories heading into dinnertime. 

Now, keep in mind that I'm supposed to stick to about 500 calories a day.

That leaves about 150 calories for dinner.  As much as I’d like to think I could survive on 150 calories for dinner, I have to admit “That dog won’t hunt!”.

I do think that I can still stick to a mostly protein (grilled meat) dinner and stay on track.  I’m thinking, 800 calories (not including the cocktails required to supervise the grilling of “said meat”.  I think I can still manage the whole day on less than 1500 calories. 

That’s not too bad, is it?

Last night was a couple of Grilled Boneless, Skinless Chicken Breasts (glazed with a mixture of Olive Oil and Louisiana Hot Sauce) and a handful of Asparagus.  Tonight is probably a grilled tri-tip roast with some green beans. 

Surviving Super Bowl Weekend!

Well, I got through the three days of "Meat & Eggs Only" part of the diet, and although I stayed with meat and eggs only (not including evening cocktails) I think I kind of shattered the “500 calories of protein” limit.  That’s Okay as long as my body is now a “fat burning furnace” like it's supposed to be. Or something like that...

The big problem for me is that, this is Super Bowl Weekend!  How the hell does anyone avoid carbs during Super Bowl Weekend?  Super Sunday is the “Christmas Day” of the “Over Eating Season”!   

Let me explain.

The "Official Over-Eating Season" all starts a few days before Halloween with all that candy.  I don’t have a serious sweet-tooth, but I’ll admit that, once the candy is in the bowl and in the Foyer, I’ve been known to sneak a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup or ten, before the kids start showing up. Then there’s Thanksgiving with Turkey and all the trimmings, which leads right into December and 5 weeks of Christmas Cookies and Sweets. You would think that Christmas would be the end of the over-eating season, but no, there’s all the College Bowl games, then the NFL Playoffs and finally, the Super Bowl!

The Super Bowl is similar to Christmas, in that, when you include the NFL Playoffs, leading up to the Super Bowl, there’s a month of eating.  The only big difference is that Christmas is mostly Sweet Snacks and Football Food is Salty, Cheesy, Fatty “Grazing” food. 

Grazing Food is wonderful, because it doesn’t really require a plate. You just walk around, picking up food and moving on.  This is mostly stuff like, Chicken Wings, Shrimp, Chips & Salsa, Chips & Guacamole, Cocktail Wieners, Shrimp and the Queen Mother of all Football Food, Chili Con Queso with Ground Sausage mixed into the Cheese.  

For those who may be unfamiliar with the name of the dish, you’ll recognize what it is: 2 lbs of melted Velveeta Cheese, two cans of Rotel, and a pound of Ground Sausage (or in some cases, hamburger meat). 

Chili Con Queso is one of those foods that can be eaten without a plate, nor with a place to sit.  As long as there are Chips to dip, you’re at the Altar of Football Food Heaven!  Due to popular belief, there are just as many calories if you eat while standing without a plate as there are while sitting with a plate.

That being said, it’s going to be a tough couple of days, getting through this weekend.  Today is supposed to be the first day of the post “Meat & Eggs Only” part of the diet and we have a huge Super Bowl Pre-Party in Dallas tonight, celebrities and all…   Not sure how that’s going to pan out.

Maybe I can stretch the “Meat & Eggs Only” part of the diet until Monday Morning.  There’s an idea that’ll work… 

By the way, I would be remiss if I didn't throw a nod to Tyler's Favorite Son, Back-Up Quarterback for Greenbay, Matt Flynn...   Go Packers!